Weep with me. I no longer believe that Myrtle loves me anymore. Weep with me.
Tonight, before bed, we ventured OUTSIDE so that I could take care of my business. Myrtle had been trying to get me to nap for over an hour so that she could finish the novel she was reading, but I kept nipping her to let her know that I needed to go outside. She gets so very frustrated when I do my business indoors. But I was very frustrated with her not understanding my need.
Well, there we were, Myrtle and I, OUTSIDE, and who do we spot? Yes, the FEARSOME BEAST. Something came over me in that moment. All the ire I have felt over having to share my abode with him welled up within me and took over. Without a second thought, I launched myself at him and chased him all about the yard. After nearly reaching my limit, I was finally gaining on him. And then the Rat Bastard cheated. The Fearsome Beast darted beneath the fence on the Good Neighbor side of the yard. He darted beneath the fence and turned around to wiggle his ears at me.
Righteous indignation renewed my flagging energies, and I tried to follow. All that happened, though, is that I hit the fence so hard, it flung me backward. Wounded, heart pounded, and stunned, I lay on the grass, expecting my momma to come love on me, to pick me up in her arms and cuddle me against her chest, murmuring sweet nothings into my ears and showering me with kisses. Instead...
...Myrtle laughed.
Myrtle laughed her big guffaw loud enough to awaken the entire neighborhood. Her whole body shook with amusement at my embattled, bruised, broken body lying on the ground.
Weep with me. Myrtle clearly does not love me anymore. Weep with me.
This is my life with Myrtle. Amos Adams signing off.
Word to the wise, Amos. One of the great joys in life is being able to laugh at those you are fond of, and have them laugh back at you! It's a show of affection, and much more socially acceptable, in human terms, than (ahem) the way you doggie types greet one another. And our little secret, okay? I laugh at Myrtle all the time. She does some funny stuff and describes it in a side-splittingly hilarious way. So don't be hurt in any way that she laughed at you. That just means she loves you as her own little (well, once little) puppy dog.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, good job chasing off the fearsome beast. You're growing up, my son. Soon you'll be top dog of the neighborhood. And won't Myrtle bs proud of you then!