I mean, it is not like the thing is cute or anything like that. I am the one who is fluffy and soft and irresistibly adorable. I am the one who snuggles Myrtle and kisses her. I am the one who keeps her company when she is sad and who crawls in her lap when she is afraid. I am the one who makes her burst into laughter (though I still do not understand why she does so whenever I am tending to my babies). I am the one who sleeps with her and presses my back to her when she has such terrible dreams. I am the one who is even willing to share her dinner with her and lick her plate clean so that washing it is easier. So, why in the world would she let this MENACE continue to live with us?
I just don't think she gets it. Or, to be fair, maybe I don't get Myrtle.
Today was much the same of late. I make one tiny mistake indoors, and she gets all bent out of shape. She weeps. I curl up in her lap. She works on the computer. I try to help. She rebuffs my every attempt. I have to listen to her wail about being unable to figure out how to do something in her design program. I try to help again, she actually raises her voice at me and sets me on the farthest end of the couch.
Why does Myrtle not want my help? I am absolutely certain I could effect a better work around than she eventually did. Plus, well...I just seem to have more fun plucking away at the keys than she does lately.
Myrtle also took offense at my willingness to clean her plate while she was up from the couch. Just because it still had some fried egg and bacon on it didn't mean that it was not yet time to clean it. After all, I am just a puppy. How in the world am I supposed to know she wasn't done? When I have a bowl of food before me, I don't stop to even breathe until it is all gone. Myrtle? She nibbles here and there for what seems like hours before she finishes.
Yep! Really, the truth of the matter is that I simply don't get Myrtle. I guess I should be taking better notes or something. Only when's a fellow supposed to get his rest? Today, all those computer, poop, and dinner shenanigans means I've only gotten in four naps thus far. Sheesh!
This is my life with Myrtle. Amos Adams signing off!
Good to see you back, Amos. Although your blog gives me a glimpse into things, I really can't imagine what your life must be like. What can I say? It's a dog's life, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteP.S. You know the Ferocious Beast? Just in case Myrtle hasn't told you, it's actually a leopard, swift of foot and sharp of fang. And from the lean and hungry look of the thing, it hasn't eaten in WEEKS!!!!!
Now, Amos: Catch the ball!
So, do you agree with me? Don't you think she should banish the Ferocious Beast from our yard? If you're right, I certainly don't want to be its next meal!
ReplyDeleteMyrtle hasn't taught me how to catch yet. I think she needs lessons on giving lessons. That...or more energy.