I asked Myrtle about this once. She got really, really quiet. After a long while, she said she didn't really know what love is. Then, she started weeping. I never brought up the subject again.
I asked her about families. This question was also greeted with tears. But at least I can understand that. I mean, what family ever stays together anymore? My mom and my dad didn't even live in the same house. For a while, I lived in a pile of puppies, my brothers and sister, and with my birth mom nearby, watching over me and giving me tasty stuff to drink from her body. For the briefest of times. Then, suddenly, without so much as a single goodbye, I lost the only home I had ever known to come live at this one. Sometimes I wonder if...someday...I might find myself being forced to leave this one just as suddenly.
Do I love Myrtle? Well, I want to be with her every moment of every day. Okay, every moment that I am not playing with Neighbor Dog through the fence. I leap up into her arms each time she returns from when she leaves. I snuggle with her at night. I shower her with kisses. I forgive her for not sharing the bacon. Do I love Myrtle? I guess I do not really know.
Does she love me? What is love?
She has become increasingly perturbed with me over my inappropriate deposits. So much so, that I am scared of her response when she notices what I have done. I try to hide behind the green chair, but she spots me anyway. I hate it when she yells at me and then sticks me in what she calls puppy time out. I hate it so much so that I have been trying very, very, very hard to do as she would like. But, sometimes, wanting a thing is not enough...no matter how much you want it to be.
Myrtle cut my hair this afternoon. She also pulled and cut hair from my ears. Boy, does that ever make me feel as if she no longer loves me. But then, tonight, she gave me a bath. My favorite thing in the entire world! [Remember, I have never tasted bacon.] Twice now, she has done so in the basement sink. Since I outgrew the kitchen sink and had to stand in both halves, I supposed I do not mind the gargantuan tub that is the basement sink. Myrtle tried keeping the plug in, but as the water filled up around me, I started to panic. She did not blame me one bit for my fear. Myrtle simply pulled the plug and continued her scrubbing.
I guess you could say that what is my favorite thing in the entire world is what comes after the bath. First, Myrtle dries my hair with two towels. Then, she wraps me up as tight as a puppy can be in the third towel, wraps me up until I cannot move an inch and only my nose is sticking out. Finally, she lies down on the couch with me. Well, by the times she takes but a few steps from the sink, I am already asleep. But since I wake up on the couch, I am fairly certain that is where Myrtle takes me. She takes me there and holds me in her arms for as many hours as I wish to sleep.
Tonight, Myrtle muttered something about nothing but the best for her puppy and then carried me upstairs, still dripping a bit, to fetch a new towel. A towel new to me. It is this gloriously soft, thick, pink and purple and blue towel that Myrtle called a "beach towel," a towel that is at least a gazillion times larger than me. By far, this is the BEST post-bath towel on the planet.
Above, you can see that Myrtle pulled the top of the towel back to get a good photo of me. That's okay. I was asleep anyway. Actually, she said she took eight of them, four with the flash and four without. None of the flashes woke me. I was too busy sleeping. And dreaming.
Does this most wonderful of towels mean that Myrtle still loves me even though her ire is increasingly raised against me and she will leave me in the kitchen all by myself when I have an accident no matter how much I beg and plead to be with her again? How many times will she continue to forgive me for messing up? Did Myrtle ever love me? Do I love her? Is she my family now? What about my first family? Did my mother and father love me? Do my brothers and sister miss me? Do either my parents or my siblings ever think about me? With this new family last? What is family? What is love?
As you can see, I am a fellow full of questions with no answers. But at least I am soft and fluffy and smell like lavender now. Myrtle cannot resist a soft and fluffy and lavender-smelling Amos. No matter how many mistakes I make tomorrow, I will be forgiven.
This is my life with Myrtle. Amos Adams signing off!
Beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of your best posts ever, Amos. It it well-written, per your usual high standards of canine prose. I find it especially sophisticated for a fellow who has not yet honed his toileting skills to a fine art, and is distracted by worries about leaving his deposits in the wrong place and how will Myrtle react if he does.
ReplyDeleteBut what I really like about your post is the generous helping of homespun doggy philosophy you serve up with it. You contemplate the deeper things of life here -- the mystery of our everyday existence as those who did not make ourselves and yet find ourselves in a world we did not design. In pondering the nature and meaning of love your post has biblical and theological implications.
In Psalm 68:6 we read that God sets the solitary in families, making a home for them; and that He leads forth the prisoners into abundance. In St. Matthew 8:20, our Lord states that while foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, He, the Son of Man, has nowhere to lay His head. That's pretty amazing, I think. The Lord who sets the solitary in families and makes a home for them, had no home of His own during His earthly sojourn.
But He had a family. In Matthew 12:48-50, Jesus asked and answered the question, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, "Behold, My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother."
Jesus said His true family did not consist of His mother Mary, or Joseph, His step-father, or his siblings or half-siblings or whatever. He stated that His true family was made up of those who do the will of His Father in heaven -- that is of those whose who have faith in Jesus for justification, forgiveness, and salvation. These are Jesus' closest family. These are the children whom our Lord's heavenly Father has eternally adopted into His family. And that's the best family of all!
We see overflowings of this in our earthly life. Think about you and Myrtle. She has adopted you as her doggie son, and she is your doggie Mom. She does love you, Amos. She has defended you from danger when you were attacked by the pit bull; she brags about you all the time on Facebook; she showers you with kisses, swaddles you in dry towels, gives you mounds of pillows to sleep on, and even allows you to use her new Dell computer so you can compose your blog entries. Even when you disappoint her, even when she yells at you for leaving a deposit in the wrong place, Myrtle still loves you. Her love for you is an image of her heavenly Father's love for her in Christ her Savior.
All of us leave behind deposits of sin where they should not be, and all of us feel scared and ashamed at times for what we've done. But just as Myrtle cleans up your misplaced deposits, so her Savior graciously cleans up all the messy, stinky deposits of sin we fallen human beings leave behind. No misplaced deposit of sin is really misplaced if it's on Jesus through the Cross. In fact, Jesus is the proper place for Myrtle's deposits of sin. And for mine, and for all of us who are sinful by nature but children of God's household by His kindness and mercy and grace toward those who, despite their best efforts, still frequently mess up His floors and His furniture.
Just a few thoughts prompted by your blog, Amos. Pass them along to Myrtle if you would like. But you have a family with Myrtle and she has a family with you. And you and Myrtle are part of my family, comprised of Schnitz and Sue and Katie and Emmi. And I hope we are a part of yours. But most importantly, because God the Father created us and redeemed His creation in His Son, we have a family in Jesus whose ties are never weakened, never broken, never dissolved. Tell Myrtle it has something to do with the Son of God taking on flesh for us. And something to do with our Baptism into His death and resurrection. Even if we didn't get a cake!