In case you think I was exaggerating about how miserly my puppy momma is with treats, yesterday I earned the final faux bacon bit. You know, the back bit from the bag of treats my beloved Aunt Leslie brought to me in February that I wrote about in March. February ... as in that teeny, tiny bag of treats were doled out in miserly fashion over a period of SIX MONTHS!!
I am not even sure I want to post the treats I am earning now. You see, there was a puppy visitor to the house. A very tiny puppy who has very tiny treats. Her treats are these pea-sized brown blobs. Well, her puppy momma left them behind, so Myrtle declared that one of them will be my reward each time I do my major business in the out of doors. PEA-SIZED! I'm a gazillion times larger than that black and white ball of fluff that came for a visit. Don't you think that my treats should be a gazillion times larger than hers?
Can you spell: D O U B L E S T A N D A R D?
Myrtle has no end of ways to reward herself. She will use a Taco Bell gift card or have an extra Dr Pepper. She will fill a bowl with enough scoops of Blue Bell to serve three people. Or maybe she will buy a red velvet cake from the store. Really, most of her rewards involve large portions of tastiness, whilst her supposedly beloved puppy dog has to make do on crumbs.
This is my life with Myrtle. Amos Adams signing off!
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