Out of nowhere, this wild, fierce, and rather terrifying storm came up and knocked out the power to our home. Since my puppy momma cannot be without air-conditioning, we went to stay in the basement of Aunt Leslie's house. While Myrtle was very thankful for a place to stay, its effect on me was rather hard for her to face.
It was hard on me, too.
You see, Aunt Leslie lives next to this place filled with lots of trees and wild animals. Fearsome Beasts of all sorts! That would have been terribly hard to face all by itself, but her back yard doesn't have any fences. Yep...that meant I had to wear the horrible, wretched, terrifying leash each and very time we went out.
Facing your greatest fear all day long, day after day, is exhausting...as you can see in my picture. Exhausting, draining, debilitating....mentally, physically, emotionally. I was a basket case by the time we left there. And, even in the haven of our home, it took me many days to shed the weight of my fear.
Myrtle and I don't talk much about the pit bull attack. At least we don't with our mouths. But our bodies sure are still vocal about it. We each tremble like a leaf at things most folk don't bat an eyelash at...or so it seems. Other folk seem so brave, so fearless really, about doing things like walking outside, being around strangers, and wearing leashes. Myrtle tells me that I am fine just the way that I am, but being scared is not very fun. It wears on a fellow.
Next week it will have been a year since we started getting scared together. Next week it will have been a year since we were both scarred.
Myrtle tells me that sometimes she feels like she is still standing on the corner playing tug-of-war against the pit bull with my body. Sometimes, she still feels my body slipping from her fingers, slick with our blood mingled together. She doesn't remember anything from the last time she stumbled to her feet, clutching me against her until the two of us were lying on the ground...the attack finally over.
Only...it really isn't. As much as we both wish it to be over, it is not. It is not in our bodies. It is not in our minds. It is not in our hearts. We startle at little things. We fear little things. And we think walking about the neighborhood is just plain a bad idea.
I guess, though, in a strange way it is good that it happened to both of us. I mean, I don't EVER want anything bad to happen to my puppy momma. EVER. But since it happened to both of us neither one of us is completely alone. Even if no one else does, we understand each other. We understand the fear. We understand the trembling. We understand the weakness.
This is my life with Myrtle. Amos Adams signing off!
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